'GRAM CRACKER

Obama Snags Presidency,

Attributes Victory

To Youth Vote,

Will.i.am Hologram.

Who knew? Well, Camel Doe did! Barack Obama won the presidential election Tuesday, quickly defeating John McCain. Obama took a "crazy amount" of the electoral college votes, and was proclaimed winner well before midnight. Camel Doe had only knocked back his second Zima when the winner was announced. And after that, boy did he celebrate!
When asked, Camel Doe's favorite news anchor, the "Silver Fox" Anderson Cooper, stated that he was sure the win was due to CNN broadcasting a hologram of "that fellow from the Black Eyed Peas...what's his name...the singer who sings about humps?" However it happened, Camel Doe and his writers wish everyone a happy election week. Now what will we celebrate here in Philly since all the victories are won? Eagles game, anyone?